Tea Party Tight Security

The Great Tea Party Security Crisis

Tea Party meetings are always a source of entertainment. If you have never attended one, imagine a gathering where the average age qualifies for a Medicare discount and the most dangerous weapon in the room is a runaway walker.

Fear, however, is the fuel that keeps the Tea Party machine running.

Take the recent Town Council candidate forum. To hear the organizers tell it, civilization itself hung in the balance. Four Sheriff's deputies were stationed at the event, ready to respond to what can only be described as the looming threat of a senior-citizen insurrection.

Not content with law enforcement protection, the Tea Party also deployed its own security force. Bright orange-vested volunteers stood guard, scanning the crowd for dangerous radicals armed with orthopedic shoes and discount hearing aids.

One could almost picture the nightmare scenario they were preparing for: a fierce battle breaking out between Democrats and Tea Party faithful, fought with canes, walkers, and coupons clipped from last Sunday's newspaper.

"Drop that walker, Earl!"

"Never! This scooter has two fresh batteries!"

The whole spectacle raises an interesting question. Who exactly are they afraid of?

The audience consisted largely of retirees. The biggest medical emergency was probably more likely to involve someone missing a blood pressure pill than launching a revolution.

Yet fear is the Tea Party's favorite campaign strategy. If they aren't warning people about invading caravans, library books, drag queens, socialists, immigrants, or mysterious forces lurking behind every tree, they have to invent a new threat. Apparently this month the danger was an audience of local seniors attending a candidate forum.

One thing that never fails to stand out is who tends to be carrying firearms. It isn't the Democrats. The self-proclaimed defenders of freedom arrive armed and prepared to defend themselves against the terrifying possibility of hearing an opinion that differs from Donald Trump's.

The unofficial motto seems to be: "I support free speech—as long as it's my speech."

My favorite moment came when Denise Bacon reportedly instructed law enforcement to keep a close eye on things. Looking around the room, I couldn't help but wonder what exactly they were watching for. A walker-based coup? A cane-wielding rebellion? A coordinated attack by the bingo crowd?

The reality is that the greatest threat at these meetings is not violence. It is the possibility that someone might ask an unscripted question, challenge a preferred narrative, or introduce a fact that doesn't fit the approved talking points.

Now that is something that truly frightens the Tea Party.

Give the Tea Party credit

The Great Payson Candidate Protection Program

The Tea Party deserves credit for one thing: they understand that controlling the message is half the battle.

Last night they hosted what was advertised as a public candidate forum at Ponderosa Bible Church. Calling it a "public forum" is a little like calling a carnival game a scientific experiment. Everyone knows how it's supposed to turn out before it begins.

The first thing attendees saw was a large display promoting the Tea Party favorites. If you didn't know better, you might have thought you had wandered into campaign headquarters rather than a community event. The other candidates seemed to receive roughly the same amount of attention as a potted plant in the corner.

Then there was security.

The Tea Party apparently anticipated a dangerous uprising by the radical forces of senior citizens armed with canes, walkers, and bifocals. Sheriff's deputies were present. Volunteers in bright orange vests patrolled the room. Looking around at the crowd, the greatest immediate threat appeared to be someone losing control of a mobility scooter.

The real security, however, was built into the format.

Questions had to be submitted in advance and screened before being asked. This ensured that no candidate would be exposed to anything hazardous, such as an unexpected question.

The result was a parade of safe, predictable inquiries that produced safe, predictable answers. Every candidate loved the town. Every candidate supported fiscal responsibility. Every candidate favored listening to citizens. Had someone asked whether puppies are good, I suspect there would have been unanimous agreement.

The most entertaining performance came when candidates spoke about accountability and listening to voters. Hearing politicians praise open communication while standing inside a tightly controlled question-filtering operation requires a certain appreciation for irony.

I had hoped to distribute a simple handout asking candidates to answer questions directly from the audience. Not hostile questions. Not trick questions. Just questions from actual voters.

That idea was apparently considered too dangerous.

I was informed that distributing such a handout would not be permitted. The possibility that citizens might ask unscripted questions was treated with roughly the same level of concern usually reserved for an electrical fire.

The message was unmistakable: voters could listen, voters could clap, voters could go home. What voters could not do was participate.

Afterward, I again attempted to ask about previous efforts to defund the library over claims of "pornography." Once again, meaningful discussion proved surprisingly difficult to obtain. It is remarkable how often people who claim to welcome debate suddenly discover pressing appointments when specific questions arise.

The evening provided little new information about the candidates. We learned that everyone loves Payson. We learned that nobody wants bankruptcy. We learned that puppies remain popular.

What we did not learn is how these candidates perform when confronted with a challenging question from an informed citizen.

That is the purpose of a real forum.

Democracy is messy. Democracy is unscripted. Democracy involves citizens asking questions that make politicians uncomfortable.

What occurred last night was not democracy at its finest.

It was candidate bubble wrap.

And judging by the precautions taken, the organizers were terrified that an unscripted question might puncture it.

Lets play the pornography game

 Jim Ferris and the Tea Party crowd have declared themselves the holy guardians of morality in Payson. According to Ferris, the greatest threat facing civilization is apparently a library book. Forget corruption, lies, greed, or a  president facing lawsuits and criminal convictions — the real danger is a librarian shelving a book some MAGA dinger hasn’t actually read.

Ferris rides into town council meetings like a self-appointed sheriff of decency, waving around accusations about “pornography” in the library. He wants to decide what your children can read, what adults can check out, and what ideas are acceptable in a free society. But strangely enough, Ferris had no problem voting for Donald Trump — a man caught on tape bragging, “Grab ’em by the pussy.” Apparently that kind of vulgarity doesn’t offend the Tea Party moral police.

That is the heart of modern MAGA hypocrisy.

A novel in a library? Outrage.

A president who lies every day, mocks disabled people, cheats on his wives, insults veterans, and talks like a drunken frat boy? Silence.

The Tea Party crowd acts like they are defending “family values,” but their values disappear the second Trump opens his mouth. They clutch their pearls over books while excusing behavior from Trump that they would condemn in anyone else. If a Democratic president had spoken the way Trump speaks, the Tea Party would have marched through the streets carrying crosses and pitchforks.

Ferris and his allies want government control over books because outrage is easier than solving real problems. They cannot explain rising housing costs, threats to Social Security, healthcare costs, or why working people keep getting squeezed, so they create culture-war theater. The library becomes the enemy because it distracts the Hoopleheads from asking harder questions.

Meanwhile, Trump lies with every breath, and the MAGA faithful applaud like trained seals.

The hypocrisy gets even richer when these same people scream about “freedom” and “government overreach.” They don’t want government telling them what kind of truck to drive or whether they should wear a mask, but they are perfectly happy using government power to decide what books your family can read. Freedom for them means freedom to control everybody else.

That is why the Tea Party movement has become less about principles and more about performance art. Outrage is the product. Anger is the fuel. Facts are optional.

Ferris can posture as the defender of children all he wants, but children learn more from the example adults set than from books sitting quietly on a library shelf. And what example does MAGA set? That lying is acceptable if your tribe benefits. That vulgarity is acceptable if your side wins. That morality only applies to political opponents.

The truth is this was never about protecting children. It was about political theater for the MAGA crowd — red meat for the culture-war addicts who need a new outrage every week.

And the saddest part? While they are busy hunting for imaginary pornography in the library, the real problems facing Payson continue untouched.

Staying in the cult.

 As Trump’s behavior grows more erratic by the day, even some of the faithful Hoopleheads seem uneasy. The cult used to wear the uniform proudly — red hats in every grocery store aisle, giant flags flapping from lifted pickups, bumper stickers screaming loyalty to the King. Lately? Not so much. The hats are disappearing. The noise is quieter. Maybe the spell is wearing off.

The gas pump has always been the true church of the dingers. They can overlook the lies, the corruption, the grifting, the endless whining, and even an attack on the Capitol. But hit a Hooplehead in the wallet while he’s filling up his F-250 and suddenly patriotism gets complicated. Nothing shakes blind devotion like paying another twenty bucks at the pump.

Even some of the smarter cult members are beginning to ask uncomfortable questions. Why is Trump glorifying and financially rewarding people who smashed their way into the Capitol? Why does every “patriot” scheme somehow end with money flowing into Trump’s pocket? Why does the man who promised to “drain the swamp” surround himself with con artists, conspiracy merchants, and political carnival barkers?

The cult was never built on ideas. It was built on grievance, anger, and the comforting fantasy that every problem in America is somebody else’s fault. College education won’t usually get you into the cult because higher education tends to encourage skepticism, curiosity, and the dangerous habit of asking for evidence. The MAGA movement survives on emotion, not logic.

But reality has a way of leaking through even the thickest skulls. When groceries cost more, when retirement accounts wobble, when chaos becomes exhausting, even the Hoopleheads start wondering if the King has no clothes. Some will never admit they were conned. Pride is too powerful. But you can see the cracks forming.

The loudest people at the Tea Party meetings used to act like Trump was a cross between John Wayne and Jesus Christ. Now some of them just look tired. They still repeat the slogans, but without the same sparkle in their eyes. The carnival act is getting old. Rage can only carry a movement so far before people start asking what exactly they got in return.

Maybe the cult isn’t dead yet. But maybe the melting has begun.

Jim Ferris will protect us from Porn

If you want to become a hero at a Tea Party meeting, the formula is simple: tell an emotional story that resonates with the easily manipulated. Jim Ferris understood that perfectly when he climbed aboard his “library pornography” hobby horse during his campaign for the Payson Town Council.

The Hoopleheads love being told that books are dangerous, corrupting, and somehow poisoning society. Ferris knew that if he cast himself as the brave defender of children against imaginary pornography at the library, he would instantly become a MAGA folk hero.

What followed was one of the most embarrassing Town Council meetings Payson has ever seen. Ferris publicly accused the Payson Library of harboring child pornography and pushed the accusation so aggressively that a library employee was brought to tears. It was a disgraceful performance built on fear, exaggeration, and political theater.

Then came the vote on library funding. Ferris voted against supporting the library, joined by fellow MAGA dingers Charlie Bell and Mayor Steve Otto. Fortunately, four responsible council members rejected the stunt and voted to preserve funding.

The Three Stooges coalition is still trying to gain control of the council. If they ever succeed, Payson may discover that attacks on libraries and ideas rarely stop with speeches and accusations. History has shown where that road can lead.

Eli Crane the coward

 

One of the fundamental principles of democracy is simple: elected officials should be willing to speak with all of the people they represent — not just those who already agree with them.

That is why it is troubling that Congressman Eli Crane refuses to hold a true public town hall meeting in Payson. Instead, he appears before Tea Party groups in meetings that are often closed to the general public, where he knows he will not be seriously challenged about his support for Donald Trump and Trump’s policies.

In those carefully controlled settings, it is easy to deliver rehearsed partisan talking points without facing difficult questions or meaningful scrutiny. But real representation requires more than speaking to supporters behind closed doors. It requires the courage to face constituents who may disagree and to answer legitimate concerns honestly and directly.

If Congressman Crane held an open town hall, many constituents would ask him about the consequences of Trump’s policies, the attacks on democratic institutions, and the growing division in our country. Apparently, that is a conversation he prefers to avoid.

Public office comes with a responsibility to face the public — all of the public — not just the political base that offers applause behind closed doors.

Imaginary pornography with Jim Ferris

 

Juicing up the Tea Party is easy. Jim Ferris is the worst councilman in the town of Payson. Add to Ferris his Tea Party buddies Steve Otto, and Charlie Bell and you have the Three Stooges. Early into his first appearance at town council Ferris tried to defund the library claiming it was promoting pornography to children. Ferris did not even read the book he was protesting. However, Ferris knew how to sing to the Tea Party. The Fox News gang never questions anything. 

Little does Ferris know about the Bible he follows. The Bible is full of sex and violence, but Ferris somehow missed it. 

The Payson Roundup featured a good letter to the editor about the Ferris insanity, read it. Ferris is one of the Three Stooges that are taking Payson to the stone age. Speak up and help get new people elected to replace these luddites.