Trump wiping supplies

Trump-Branded Toilet Paper: Finally, a Product That Really Gets to the Bottom of Things

America can finally breathe a sigh of relief. After years of debate, drama, indictments, impeachments, rallies, counter-rallies, speeches, and tweets, a product has arrived that unites the country in one simple, universal human experience:

Toilet paper.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Trump-branded toilet paper is now a thing. And somehow, it feels… inevitable.

Let’s be honest: if any modern political figure was destined to end up on a roll, it was Donald Trump. The man has put his name on steaks, vodka, a university, casinos, bottled water, NFTs, and a golden sneaker collection. Toilet paper was the one remaining frontier—the final square on the American bingo card.

Features of Trump Toilet Paper (as imagined by Kadizzle Industries)

• Two-ply “Executive Privilege” softness
Absorbs anything—except responsibility.

• Extra-long rolls
Because the legal paperwork never ends.

• Guaranteed not to flush properly
Just like every scandal.

• Comes pre-loaded with alternative facts
Each sheet contradicts the last one.

• Now available in “Nuclear Documents Beige”
A color inspired by Mar-a-Lago’s most mysterious storage closet.

User Reviews (totally trustworthy)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ “Finally, a product that speaks my language.” — Person at a rally waving a toilet brush.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ “Best use of his image to date.” — Every late-night comedian.

⭐️⭐️⭐️☆☆ “Clogs my plumbing, but so does everything else from this guy.” — Arizona homeowner, location withheld

The Marketing Campaign Practically Writes Itself

Imagine the ads:

“When things get messy… use the brand that’s been cleaning up headlines for years.”

or

“Strong enough for your toughest job, yet soft enough for fragile egos.”

or even

“Make America Wipe Again.”

Somewhere, a Madison Avenue marketing executive is crying tears of joy.

A Unifying Product at Last

Regardless of your politics—even if you’ve sworn off the news entirely—Trump toilet paper provides something rare:

Complete bipartisan agreement on its ideal use.

And in today’s America, that might be the most patriotic thing imaginable.

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Do something

When a Nation Forgets Itself

There was a time when the United States set the standard for opportunity, innovation, and democratic strength. Today, many Americans feel something slipping away.

The decline did not happen overnight, and it did not begin with one man. But Donald Trump has become a symbol — even an accelerant — of a deeper erosion already underway. When dishonesty becomes routine, when cruelty is excused as strength, and when political opponents are treated as enemies rather than fellow citizens, democracy weakens.

Across the country, wealth has concentrated into insulated enclaves. Those at the top often live untouched by the struggles of working families, the poor, or anyone outside their political tribe. Economic inequality grows, while basic institutions — courts, schools, public trust — face constant pressure and politicization.

History shows that nations don’t collapse in a single dramatic moment. They erode slowly. Rights are narrowed. Norms are bent. Truth becomes optional. Expertise is mocked. Division becomes profitable.

Meanwhile, too many of us grow tired or cynical. We disengage. We assume someone else will fix it.

But democracy requires maintenance. It requires participation. It requires citizens who demand honesty, accountability, and equal justice — not just for themselves, but for everyone.

A culture built on “I got mine, the rest of you are on your own” cannot sustain a republic. Our children inherit not only our prosperity, but also our neglect.

The question is not whether America is perfect — it never was. The question is whether we are willing to defend and rebuild the principles that made it strong.

Nations do not fail because they are challenged. They fail when their people stop caring.

The future is not predetermined. But it will reflect what we choose to tolerate — and what we choose to defend.

The fraud master

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Donald Trump has once again demonstrated why he may be the reigning champion of political bribery and fraud. His latest stunt? Trying to block the opening of a major new bridge from Canada—a project years in the making and vital to regional commerce.

Why would a president do that?

Because the owner of a nearby privately owned toll bridge—a man whose profits depend on keeping competition away—paid him a visit. In classic fashion, Trump didn’t hesitate. A lie was conjured, a bogus justification fabricated, and suddenly a legitimate international infrastructure project was in jeopardy—all to protect one wealthy individual’s revenue stream.

And, as usual, the country shrugs. No outrage. No accountability. No serious effort to remove a man who treats the presidency like a personal racket, abusing federal power for the benefit of whichever donor whispers the right request.

America is being run by a fraudmaster, and somehow we’re expected to pretend this is normal governance.

The Flow of information in Payson

The Flow of Information in Payson

The flow of information in Payson has some serious shortcomings. The Payson Roundup, due to limited print space, inevitably cherry-picks which letters to the editor appear in the paper. While this is understandable from a physical-space perspective, it also creates an opportunity—intentional or not—to steer public communications in one direction or another. There’s an easy fix: publish every submitted letter in the online edition, unfiltered. Let readers decide what matters.

But the bigger barrier to open, honest civic dialogue in Payson comes from gatekeeping.

On the airwaves, KMOG tightly controls who gets to speak and who gets to respond, shaping the narrative instead of simply hosting it. Meanwhile, the local Tea Party restricts discussion and attendance at its meetings, ensuring that the messaging presented at these gatherings faces little challenge or scrutiny. These practices choke off the diverse viewpoints needed for a healthy community conversation.

If Payson wants to function as a real free-speech community, then everyone must have equal access to information. And those who control the platforms—newspapers, radio, or political groups—must recognize their responsibility to be fair, open, and impartial. Free speech only works when the doors to public discourse are open to all, not just a select few.

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The Scum of the White House

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National Association for the Advancement of Humanity

How Much Lower Can Trump Go?

How much lower can a former president sink? Every single day, Donald Trump sets a fresh record for disgrace. His venomous insults toward Barack Obama and Michelle Obama mark yet another bottom scraped in American political history. On the scale of pure scoundrel behavior, Trump is unmatched — a man who has normalized indecency and made cruelty a political strategy.

But let’s not forget the rest of his “achievements”:

• Records in graft.

• Records in bribery.

• Records in pathological lying.
  He is a one-man demolition crew aimed squarely at American civic values.

And still the MAGA faithful cheer him on — a crowd mesmerized by a man ruled entirely by childish impulses and an ego so bloated it eclipses reason. Any rational adult who reads even a basic summary of Trump’s conduct would feel sick. But not the lickspittles who kneel before corruption and call it patriotism.

The only real question left is what new low will Trump hit tomorrow? His current obsession is rigging the coming midterm elections — sabotaging democracy while waving the flag he pretends to defend.

When will even the most uninformed red-hat true believer finally wake up and see the con? Or is willful ignorance now the last pillar holding up MAGA world?

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A Once great country

This used to be a country built on hope.
For decades the United States stood near the top on nearly every social measure—health, education, opportunity, decency. That feels like ancient history now. Today, many Americans find themselves embarrassed by what we’ve become. Under Trump, the national ride has plunged straight into the gutter.

We no longer lift up the tired, the poor, or the hungry. Instead, we applaud as Trump builds a gilded castle for himself and fortifies the estates of the already wealthy. Health care? That’s now a privilege for those who can afford survival. Education has been twisted into a factory for indoctrination. Christianity—once a moral compass—has been repurposed into a shrine for Trump and the almighty dollar.

We’re watching a man turn lying and theft into competitive sports, a kind of moral Olympics where the record book is written in corruption. And the truly frightening part? Millions cheer him on.

The sickness isn’t just national—it’s seeped into the local bloodstream. Small-town politics now mimic the same authoritarian swagger. Fueled by right-wing disinformation, the Tea Party faithful elevate local leaders who copy Trump’s tactics with enthusiasm. The result is a disastrous trio of mini-dictators convinced that democracy is optional, truth is negotiable, and power is the only scripture worth reading.

What have we become—and more importantly, how far are we willing to fall?

None are so blind as those who will not see

Every day, Donald Trump shovels out fresh proof that he is exactly what he’s always been—a liar, a thief, a dictator-in-waiting, and a world-class con man. And every day, the country reacts with the same stunned silence you’d expect if he’d simply announced the weather. The MAGA crowd nods along as if this is all perfectly normal—just another day in the land of alternative facts and perpetual grievance.

Sure, America has survived crooks and political lowlifes before. But at least the old-school scoundrels had the decency to pretend they weren’t crooks. They worked in the shadows. They whispered. They denied everything. They felt shame—or at least understood they should.

Not Trump.

Trump celebrates his corruption the way a high-school bully celebrates stealing someone’s lunch money—loudly, proudly, and in front of the whole cafeteria. And somehow, unbelievably, this particular bully was elected class president. Twice.

How did we get here?
Trump didn’t erode decency; he power-washed it off the nation with a blast of scandals so constant no one could sandbag the flood fast enough. Outrage fatigue became a political strategy, and it worked.

And now the latest trick: a plan to seize control of elections by “nationalizing” them—code for “rigging the system so he never loses again.” He’s already used the Constitution for toilet paper, kindling, and a Kleenex when he needs to blow his nose.

So the real question isn’t what Trump is doing.

It’s: Who still cares—and why aren’t the rest screaming?

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If you’d like, I can make a darker version, a more humorous version, or one styled specifically for your National Association for the Advancement of Humanity blog voice.