The Mind of a Hooplehead
Maybe the lottery ticket will solve everything. Yeah, that’s the plan — because when your financial strategy involves Powerball, you’re basically an economic genius.
Maybe a new credit card will stretch the budget. Sure, that’ll fix it. Because what this economy really needs is more interest.
Here I am in my trailer park, wondering how I’ll ever afford a decent funeral — which, at this rate, could be sooner than expected. The car needs gas, McDonald’s hasn’t given me a raise since the Bush administration, and somehow, I’m starting to suspect those tattoos didn’t appreciate in value.
But hey — Trump’s still out there “Making America Great Again.” It’s just taking a little longer than expected. Like the resurrection. Or trickle-down economics.
The best part is, none of this is my fault. Nope. I learned that from the master himself — the orange Zen guru of blame deflection. It’s always someone else. Immigrants, the deep state, windmills. Windmills!
And if I can just get enough gas money to reach the casino, that’s where I’ll turn it all around. I’ll win big, fix the roof, and maybe even splurge on some new Halloween decorations. Because nothing says fiscal responsibility like betting your rent money on a slot machine while wearing a MAGA hat.
God bless America — land of opportunity, delusion, and two-for-one beer nights.
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