Pray then lie and cheat

If you really want to hypnotize the MAGA crowd, there’s nothing like a little Bible aerobics. Wave it around, maybe kiss the cover for good measure, and suddenly you’re Moses parting the Red Hats. Every Town Council meeting starts the same way: prayer, pledge, a little patriotic karaoke.

And then—bam!—right after the holy opening act, the Three Stooges of Payson politics, Otto, Bell, and Ferris, roll out the agenda: let’s starve the library, deny kids a swimming pool, and see if we can bulldoze a few more common-sense ideas while we’re at it. Because nothing says “Christian values” like making sure children are miserable.

Honestly, if Jesus showed up at one of these meetings, he wouldn’t be turning water into wine—he’d be turning toward the exit. The guy flipped tables in the temple over money changers; imagine his reaction to Otto and company using his name to push a MAGA agenda. He wouldn’t just flip tables—he’d redecorate Town Hall in projectile vomit.

So sure, pray all you want at the start. Just don’t be surprised when the Almighty checks the agenda and says, “Yeah, I’m out.”

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Why does the MAGA pool water smell like sewage? Are we great yet?

Trump promised to make us rich again, but the gold never trickled down to the peasants. Sure, if you had cash parked in the stock market you did alright. But if you were driving a bus, hauling trash, or doing the real work that keeps America moving, nothing changed.

The Hoopleheads cheered him on because he flipped the bird to the elites they thought were robbing them. Irony of ironies—Trump is the robber. He handed out tax breaks like party favors to his rich buddies while the peasants watched prices climb higher and higher.

And the worst of the Trump hammer? It hasn’t even dropped yet. That “feeling great” he promised is starting to feel like a hangover.

Here in Payson, we’ve got our own Three Stooges trying to copy the act. They say the town is busted flat and can’t afford a real swimming pool. Their grand solution? Duct-tape the corpse of the old pool and fill it with recycled sewage water. Nothing says “family fun” like the faint smell of yesterday’s toilet swirling in the deep end.

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NEW BLUES HIT - "His Escalator Don’t Go Up No More”

Read it, Trump is making life worse for girls in Africa

The Orange Rat has taken aid away from African girls, what is the price? Read about it in the New York Times today.  

Get your Ass to the Donut meeting today at 10

Do your part show up and speak up at the Donut meeting at ten on Bonita Street today.  

Small squeaky minority runs the town

The Tea Party’s Obstruction Game

Obstructionism and the local Tea Party are one and the same. If Fox News had a branch office in Payson, it would look exactly like the Tea Party.

Most people in Payson are just trying to live normal lives. They’re working jobs, raising kids, paying bills—they don’t have time to keep track of the Hoopleheads. That vacuum of attention gives the obstructionists room to stir up trouble.

And who fills their ranks? Plenty of folks on the financial edge, scraping by on nothing but Social Security. They’ve got just enough anger to feed on Fox News and just enough fear to believe Trump is some kind of savior. Taxes send them into a frenzy, but they’ll gladly hand over money at the casino, fall for scams, or blow what little they have without a thought about saving or investing.

Now, in the last chapter of their lives, they cling to Fox and Trump like a lifeboat. Meanwhile, the real solution is obvious: if the majority of “normal” people in Payson woke up and voted, the Hoopleheads wouldn’t stand a chance.

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The One Trait That Predicts Trump Support (w. Matthew MacWilliams)