If you really want to hypnotize the MAGA crowd, there’s nothing like a little Bible aerobics. Wave it around, maybe kiss the cover for good measure, and suddenly you’re Moses parting the Red Hats. Every Town Council meeting starts the same way: prayer, pledge, a little patriotic karaoke.
And then—bam!—right after the holy opening act, the Three Stooges of Payson politics, Otto, Bell, and Ferris, roll out the agenda: let’s starve the library, deny kids a swimming pool, and see if we can bulldoze a few more common-sense ideas while we’re at it. Because nothing says “Christian values” like making sure children are miserable.
Honestly, if Jesus showed up at one of these meetings, he wouldn’t be turning water into wine—he’d be turning toward the exit. The guy flipped tables in the temple over money changers; imagine his reaction to Otto and company using his name to push a MAGA agenda. He wouldn’t just flip tables—he’d redecorate Town Hall in projectile vomit.
So sure, pray all you want at the start. Just don’t be surprised when the Almighty checks the agenda and says, “Yeah, I’m out.”
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