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Tuesday, September 23, 2025

Different Free Speech



Trump’s Free Speech Vacation Package

Remember when the First Amendment meant you could actually say things without worrying about the knock at the door? Well, under Trump’s “Make America Gag Again” program, free speech is now a luxury getaway. You can ski, you can tan, you can shop… just don’t try opening your mouth.


The Poem

You can ski on the mountain, you can tan on the beach,
But whisper the truth and you’ll face a grand breach.

You can shop at the mall, you can grill on your deck,
But say “Trump lies” and they’ll come for your neck.

You can dance at the wedding, you can sing at the wake,
But mocking Dear Leader’s a yuuuge mistake.

You can pledge to the flag, you can pray at the steeple,
But don’t question the Donald—or bye-bye free people.

You can drive in your car, you can stroll down the street,
But speech isn’t “free” when the jail cell’s your suite.

So ski, and go tanning, and keep your mouth shut—
Because freedom’s a right… till Trump kicks your butt.


The Amenities Package

Here’s what’s included in your Free Speech Resort stay:

  • Fox News Cabana Service: Loungers get a steady drip of conspiracy cocktails, shaken not fact-checked.

  • KMOG Radio Karaoke: Sing along to the same three lies on endless repeat—perfect for MAGA family fun nights.

  • MAGA Rally Buffet: All-you-can-eat red hats, seasoned with rage and sprinkled with “Lock Her Up” chants.

  • 24/7 Surveillance Spa: Where AI tracks your tweets, and Trump personally adjusts the temperature on your ankle monitor.


The Punchline

Think of it as the First Amendment’s new travel advisory:

“You are free to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you in a Trump campaign rally.”

So pack your sunscreen, your skis, and your duct tape—
because in Trump’s America, free speech isn’t a right, it’s an all-inclusive MAGA resort.



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