Trump’s Offspring in Payson
If Donald Trump ever had a love child in Payson, Arizona, it would be the Tea Party. Same DNA, just shorter, older, and with more orthopedic shoes. These folks have memorized the Trump playbook: lie boldly, misinform proudly, and wreck the place like it’s their patriotic duty. Tiny group, huge mess—like toddlers with chainsaws.
Now they’re on a mission to sink the town’s new pool project. The old pool’s been closed for five years. It wasn’t a pool anymore, it was a biohazard. But instead of spending seven bucks a month for a new one—seven dollars! That’s less than the price of a pack of smokes, or the chips they’ll blow at the casino—the Tea Party would rather let the kids of Payson marinate in dust.
These are the same people who believed Trump when he said prosperity would “rain down” on them. Spoiler alert: no rain. Not even a drizzle. But sure, keep waiting out there with your umbrellas. Maybe prosperity is just stuck in traffic. Meanwhile, the retirement plans of these folks usually involve scratching lottery tickets and polishing their handguns—handguns they proudly haul to the grocery store because you never know when the broccoli might rise up.
And then there’s their pièce de résistance: the “public meeting.” Here’s the gag—if you actually show up to ask a question, they bounce you at the door. Private meeting, sorry! Inside, Queen Bee Inga runs the show, making sure only softball questions get through. It’s like watching Fox News in real life: nothing but pre-screened fluff tossed to the Three Stooges or whatever Trump lickspittle they’ve booked for the night.
Trump would be proud of this crew. They’ve perfected his tactics: say it loud, say it wrong, and block the exits so truth can’t sneak in.
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