Is America Great Again?
Trump says we’re “winning,” but check your grocery receipt. If this is winning, I’d hate to see losing.
The Grocery Store Reality Show
Food prices are up 25% since 2019, but don’t worry — Trump says it’s fine. A pound of ground beef is $5.35, eggs are 60% higher than pre-Trump, and milk is starting to look like a luxury item. We’re being pissed on and told it’s a gentle rain — except the rain costs $4.50 a gallon and spoils before payday.
The Paycheck Magic Trick
Household income is flatlined at about $74,000, but rent for a two-bedroom is now $1,900. That’s not “great again,” that’s “great depression practice mode.” Home ownership? Forget it. The American dream has been outsourced to millionaires who can actually afford the down payment.
Trump’s Vengeance Tour
Meanwhile, what’s the big man doing about it? Nothing — unless your problem is not enough vengeance in your diet. He’s too busy turning the Oval Office into the world’s pettiest grievance desk. Every rally is the same: shout about enemies, wave fists, sell hats. While Trump’s working out his therapy issues on stage, Americans are working out which bills not to pay this month.
Now Featuring: White-Collar Misery
The fun is just beginning. For years, layoffs were a blue-collar special. Now, white-collar workers are on the chopping block. Tech and finance layoffs are up 50% over last year. That MBA isn’t looking so shiny when you’re back living in your parents’ basement, wondering if DoorDash drivers get dental.
The Gentle Rain Scam
So yes, America is “great again”—if your definition of greatness is paying more for less, watching your job evaporate, and getting lectured by a guy who thinks vengeance is a policy platform. We’re all standing in the downpour of Trump’s second act, and he swears it’s just a gentle, patriotic drizzle.
Spoiler: it’s not rain.
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