The Hooplehead (Parody of “The Idiot”)
(to the tune of Stan Rogers’ “The Idiot”)
Verse 1:
They called me a fool when I left my school,
But I knew what I was doin’.
I went to the hills with the Tea Party thrills,
Where the facts are always losin’.
Now I’m sittin’ in town where the flags go up,
And logic’s been outlawed too,
They say “Six bucks for the pool’s too much,”
While they’re buyin’ more guns than they’ll ever use.
Chorus:
So I ain’t a fool, I’m a Hooplehead,
I love what Otto said,
He said duct tape can fix that pool,
And the Hooples all nodded their heads.
Yeah, I ain’t a fool, I’m a Hooplehead,
Got my Trump flag out instead,
While the kids swim laps in potholes,
And freedom rots in red.
Verse 2:
Down at McDonald’s, they sip on lies,
While Fox News hums along,
They’ll curse the town and praise the crown,
And think they’re never wrong.
They talk about “tyranny”
As they ban each book they see,
And call themselves patriots,
While they kill democracy.
Chorus (repeat)
So I ain’t a fool, I’m a Hooplehead,
Proud of what Otto said,
He’s buildin’ a kingdom of nonsense,
Where the smart folks all have fled.
Yeah, I ain’t a fool, I’m a Hooplehead,
Wearin’ red hats till I’m dead,
Can’t afford a pool for our children,
But I’ll buy more ammo instead.
Bridge:
Now the council meets, and the truth retreats,
Behind another prayer,
They call it “freedom,” I call it “fraud,”
But no one seems to care.
So I’ll raise a glass to the good old days,
When facts still meant a thing,
Before the Hooples crowned their king.
Final Chorus:
No, I ain’t a fool, I’m a Hooplehead,
And I’ll quote what Otto said:
“Why swim in a pool when a pothole’ll do?”
That’s progress in my head.
Yeah, I ain’t a fool, I’m a Hooplehead,
Livin’ where brains are shed,
But someday this town will wake up,
And paint the future blue instead.
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