Rodents of Unusual Stupidity

R.O.U.S. — Rodents of Unusual Stupidity

If you remember The Princess Bride, you’ll recall the R.O.U.S.—Rodents of Unusual Size—creatures so absurd you laughed, right up until they tried to eat the hero.

Now imagine one of those rodents as president.
Then imagine another one—Stephen Miller—scurrying behind him, helping gnaw through the walls of democracy.
And if that isn’t enough R.O.U.S. infestation, just look to Payson where we have our own Three Stooges version: Otto, Bell, and Ferris—Rodents of Unusual Stupidity.

What has this country come to when our so-called “leaders” wake up every morning with the same three goals:
destroy the country, steal the cheese, and dismantle freedom as quickly as their tiny paws allow?

Here in Payson, the rodents have built quite the nest.
A full colony gathers at the Tea Party—sniffing out conspiracy crumbs, squeaking lies to each other, and mistaking paranoia for patriotism. Their head rodent? A sexual abuser, con man, and professional liar. Truly the full rodent résumé.

And what do rodents do when left unchecked?
They chew through the East Wing of the White House.
They scamper toward the Kennedy Center with matches.
And here at home, our local rodents have shredded any hope of a new swimming pool or a town that moves forward instead of backwards into the basement.

Like all invasive species, there’s only one solution:
Trap them, relocate them, and disinfect the nest before the whole house collapses.